It has been a long time since my last post. I have had a surgery to remove my VP shunt, and I am doing well. Just been getting headaches here and there, and I seem to have had a flu-like virus and now it seems a cold is starting. My immune system is so compromised.
Noah has been playing football and until November was doing really well. He however became very ill in early Nov. and is continuing to have some issues. Dec 2, they actually admitted him to the hospital for 4 days in order to run tests and try and figure out what is going on. They tested him for every kind of cancer that there is as well as many other diseases, viruses, and bacterias. So far, praise the Lord, they have all come back negative. We saw an infectious disease specialist, and a rheumatologist. The rheumatologist found there was no arthritis in any of his joints, and that has been the chief complaint. He has had abdominal pain on his left side up under his ribs. When she was checking all of his joints, she found another really tender spot on the right side. Her thought is to have that checked out as well. Just to be sure. We are seeing him improve, but it is a very slow process.
Family drama is still going on. While Noah was in the hospital, his brother called Dan, and proceeded to "chew" him out on the phone...like that was an appropriate time. Dan tried to explain that the very day Noah was admitted, both of our vehicles batteries died and needed replaced. Like we didn't have enough stress. We are still not sure if we are going to celebrate Christmas with his side or not. Personally, I'd rather not. It will just be stressful on everyone and it is never pleasant. Not sure if I want my kids to be exposed to that kind of stuff.
Samuel was doing really well and then last night the "bug" got him. He has a sore throat, and really bad headache. It always concerns me when either of my kids get a headache. That "unknown" genetic factor always pops into my head...have I passed down my disease to them? I pray it never happens, but it is always there.
Dan will be starting a new job January 4th. He will be an inside sales rep for the same company he has been with for almost 14years. January will be the hardest because he will only get paid on the 7th and the 31st. Not sure how we are going to pay the bills, but I am sure God has that covered. We both felt that this would be a great opportunity for Dan. He will be salaried, and instead of incentive production checks every 3 months, he will get profit sharing checks, every 3 months, which he has been guaranteed a certain amount in his contract. His hours will change and I think it is going to work out so well for our family. Dan will get to see the kids before his day starts. We will be able to have breakfast together each morning. Our goal is to have breakfast and a devotional to start our day together each day. I am praying that this change in our routine will be a smooth transition for all of us. It is going to be different, but I think in the long run, it will be better for all of us.
That is about all for now. I just needed to write something...I am having bouts of depression that grows stronger each day. I know it is from not feeling well, and growing oh, so tired of that. So, I write to keep my mind busy. Working on things to keep my hands and mind busy as well. Please pray for our family in the coming weeks as we adjust and work together in the changes we are facing.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
This disease...UGH!
This disease is such an interruption that people don't understand. I miss out on a lot of things that I would love to participate in. On Wednesday, I was supposed to attend a football moms meeting. Well, we had thunderstorms and tornado warnings, so that means terrible barometric pressure readings. That in turn means I am sick with terrible headaches. I was so upset! You know sometimes, I just want to be a normal mom that can do the things the other moms do. I know the other moms wonder why I am not helping with things and where I am and that alienates me from them. No wonder when I do see the other moms they just give me that look. They don't understand. I hate this disease! I was feeling better this morning, but with the heat and humidity, I am getting a headache that feels like a big one. And of course with the headache, I am having lots of nausea so I can't eat which means that I am not losing weight. It has slowed dramatically, and that frustrates me. Just lots frustrating me right now.
Prayers for Noah. They found something in his labs he had done. It may be something minor that would require several months of medicine, or something more. Wait and see.
Prayers for Noah. They found something in his labs he had done. It may be something minor that would require several months of medicine, or something more. Wait and see.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Still here.
i haven't updated due to my vision being so bad. i haven't been able to do very much reading. i did start a new book for casual reading. it is called "7 things he'll never tell you, but you need to know" by dr kevin leman. so far it is really good.
i am still contemplating the scarf covering my head at church. would that bring honor to dan? would that bring more honor to God? is it the right thing to do? i don't know. i need more scripture on it to be able to make my decision and i need to find out dan's opinion of it.
we are still trying to get my meds regulated. i am only sleeping 2-3 hrs a day. i have a headache but not terrible, but i feel terrible. i am sick to my stomach, i can never get comfortable, i just feel crummy. i did start on the glucophage, folic acid, b6, and b12. i am not diabetic, but it helps with my pcos, metabolic syndrome, and insulin resistance. in a week, i have lost 13 lbs. i have a long way to go, but i have made a great start. i am slowly getting into the habit of the food program. i pray that as i get feeling better, i will be able to lose all the weight that i have always tried to lose, but have never been able to.
i am going to try to get some reading done in the next couple of days. i am getting tires for my car tomorrow.
noah is going to try and find ways to raise money for his trip in november. i am still excited for him. i am so hopeful that he can raise the money to go. a youth leadership forum on law and forensics. how cool is that!!!! to go to dc and get to sit in on sessions of congress, supreme court session, work with prominent dc lawyers, be taught by professors of prestigious universities. he would get to do all of that for 1 week. there is a top forensic scientist that is putting together a whole mock trial project where he will be the star witness and the kids will get to question him and i just think that would be the coolest. i am not sure how we are going to come up with the money. think he is going to send a letter to friends and family asking for odd jobs to make the money. i sure hope he can do it.
well, i am going to take all of my meds and see if i can get any sleep.
i am still contemplating the scarf covering my head at church. would that bring honor to dan? would that bring more honor to God? is it the right thing to do? i don't know. i need more scripture on it to be able to make my decision and i need to find out dan's opinion of it.
we are still trying to get my meds regulated. i am only sleeping 2-3 hrs a day. i have a headache but not terrible, but i feel terrible. i am sick to my stomach, i can never get comfortable, i just feel crummy. i did start on the glucophage, folic acid, b6, and b12. i am not diabetic, but it helps with my pcos, metabolic syndrome, and insulin resistance. in a week, i have lost 13 lbs. i have a long way to go, but i have made a great start. i am slowly getting into the habit of the food program. i pray that as i get feeling better, i will be able to lose all the weight that i have always tried to lose, but have never been able to.
i am going to try to get some reading done in the next couple of days. i am getting tires for my car tomorrow.
noah is going to try and find ways to raise money for his trip in november. i am still excited for him. i am so hopeful that he can raise the money to go. a youth leadership forum on law and forensics. how cool is that!!!! to go to dc and get to sit in on sessions of congress, supreme court session, work with prominent dc lawyers, be taught by professors of prestigious universities. he would get to do all of that for 1 week. there is a top forensic scientist that is putting together a whole mock trial project where he will be the star witness and the kids will get to question him and i just think that would be the coolest. i am not sure how we are going to come up with the money. think he is going to send a letter to friends and family asking for odd jobs to make the money. i sure hope he can do it.
well, i am going to take all of my meds and see if i can get any sleep.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Help Meet
I started a new devotional today "Created to Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. I just want to use this blog to journal my thougts and see if it helps to work out any "kinks" I might run across in my studies.
First, let me say that although I like Debi Pearl, there has yet to be an author that I 100% agree with everything they say. Most of us are that way. We like an author/minister/layperson, but we don't agree 100% with them on 100% of what they say. That is completely ok, we are human.
I know we all(those of us married) think we have the very best guy out there. We found Mr Right/Wonderful/Perfect/you fill in your own. However, every husband sins, and every husband is born into this world a sinner. They make mistakes,(try telling this to a newlywed :-)), and you'll get "no he doesn't." And then in that dreamy tone you'll get, "he's perfect!" And at that...you've lost her. She will be off in her la-la land of perfectness. After that "perfectness" period, it will start taking conscious efforts to make a marriage work. You will need to watch the tone of your voice, how you react, what you do when you something doesn't go as planned. This is where the work comes in on both parties, the one reacting and the one being reacted upon.
The points in this chapter that hit home were the following:
1-Do you wake each morning to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability? Are you engaged in active goodwill toward him?
*When you help your mate, you help Christ. God was the one that commissioned man with a specific purpose and designed a woman to be his help meet. When you honor your husband, you honor God. When we serve our husband, we serve God. But it also works in the fact of when we dishonor our mate, we dishonor God.
2-Is it your nature to be your husbands helper! That is why we were made.
3-To covet the role of leadership is to covet something that will not make God, you, or your man happy.
*"But she that is married careth for the things of this world, how she may please her husband." I Corinthians 7:34
4-The role of being a perfectly fit helper does not make one inferior to the leader.
*"There is no loss of dignity in subordination when it serves a higher purpose. God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do." You're NOT on the board with an = vote. You really have no authority to make decisions, or even set the agenda of your life. However, if your husband can trust you, you can be involved in all of that if HE chooses to let you. YOU have to let HIM lead.
"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." Proverbs 12:4
"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." I Cor 11:8-9
In reading the verses surrounding these 2 verses, I came across something that has me thinking. Verses 3-7 talks about the covering of the head. This subject has become one of interest to me in recent months. Even though my hair is getting longer now, I find it interesting where it talks about "the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head."(verse 10). I have seen in my brothers pictures, how the women in the Moldovan church use a lace scarf to cover their head when in the sanctuary of the church or in a "sanctuary" setting. I have been really thinking about this. Is this a sign of honor to her husband, which as in the reading today, is honoring her Lord? Maybe this is something that I should be doing. Is this a matter that should be discussed with my husband first? Is this something that I should do, even though I have just past shoulder length hair? Is this something that should be done whether or not my church agrees with it? I have a friend, that I love dearly, and her and her girls all wear head-coverings during all of their activities and at church, and I always thought how much I admire that. To me it is a symbol of service and honor. I always thing how proud her husband must be to have her do this. Now I don't know that she does it just to honor him, but it seems to me that it would go back to verse 10. I think I am going to have a talk with her about this subject and see what she says.
I still have to do the workbook portion of the devotion, but with this much info, I am thinking book and the "Time to Consider" page one day and then the workbook the next. We'll see how it goes.
First, let me say that although I like Debi Pearl, there has yet to be an author that I 100% agree with everything they say. Most of us are that way. We like an author/minister/layperson, but we don't agree 100% with them on 100% of what they say. That is completely ok, we are human.
I know we all(those of us married) think we have the very best guy out there. We found Mr Right/Wonderful/Perfect/you fill in your own. However, every husband sins, and every husband is born into this world a sinner. They make mistakes,(try telling this to a newlywed :-)), and you'll get "no he doesn't." And then in that dreamy tone you'll get, "he's perfect!" And at that...you've lost her. She will be off in her la-la land of perfectness. After that "perfectness" period, it will start taking conscious efforts to make a marriage work. You will need to watch the tone of your voice, how you react, what you do when you something doesn't go as planned. This is where the work comes in on both parties, the one reacting and the one being reacted upon.
The points in this chapter that hit home were the following:
1-Do you wake each morning to make your husband happy and blessed, to serve him to the best of your ability? Are you engaged in active goodwill toward him?
*When you help your mate, you help Christ. God was the one that commissioned man with a specific purpose and designed a woman to be his help meet. When you honor your husband, you honor God. When we serve our husband, we serve God. But it also works in the fact of when we dishonor our mate, we dishonor God.
2-Is it your nature to be your husbands helper! That is why we were made.
3-To covet the role of leadership is to covet something that will not make God, you, or your man happy.
*"But she that is married careth for the things of this world, how she may please her husband." I Corinthians 7:34
4-The role of being a perfectly fit helper does not make one inferior to the leader.
*"There is no loss of dignity in subordination when it serves a higher purpose. God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do." You're NOT on the board with an = vote. You really have no authority to make decisions, or even set the agenda of your life. However, if your husband can trust you, you can be involved in all of that if HE chooses to let you. YOU have to let HIM lead.
"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband." Proverbs 12:4
"For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." I Cor 11:8-9
In reading the verses surrounding these 2 verses, I came across something that has me thinking. Verses 3-7 talks about the covering of the head. This subject has become one of interest to me in recent months. Even though my hair is getting longer now, I find it interesting where it talks about "the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head."(verse 10). I have seen in my brothers pictures, how the women in the Moldovan church use a lace scarf to cover their head when in the sanctuary of the church or in a "sanctuary" setting. I have been really thinking about this. Is this a sign of honor to her husband, which as in the reading today, is honoring her Lord? Maybe this is something that I should be doing. Is this a matter that should be discussed with my husband first? Is this something that I should do, even though I have just past shoulder length hair? Is this something that should be done whether or not my church agrees with it? I have a friend, that I love dearly, and her and her girls all wear head-coverings during all of their activities and at church, and I always thought how much I admire that. To me it is a symbol of service and honor. I always thing how proud her husband must be to have her do this. Now I don't know that she does it just to honor him, but it seems to me that it would go back to verse 10. I think I am going to have a talk with her about this subject and see what she says.
I still have to do the workbook portion of the devotion, but with this much info, I am thinking book and the "Time to Consider" page one day and then the workbook the next. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, May 7, 2010
I'm Back!!!
It has been a long time since I have been on here, I had my surgery and had my 2nd shunt placed. I am a rare patient since I have 2 working shunts. There aren't many of us that have 2. The surgery went really good. Had issues with the on-call dr and a couple of nurses I had. No one would give me any pain meds after the surgery. Even in recovery, the anesthesiologist wouldn't give me any. I have had meds in recovery before, but not with this dr. I was out of surgery about 4pm and to my room by 5pm, but I never received any meds until 7:30. I had not been given any of my daily meds until 1:30am. I couldn't believe that they wouldn't even give me my daily meds. I had brought all my meds from home, so I took some pain meds that I had in my bag.
( finally went to sleep about 2:30am, Then, at 3:30am the fire alarm went off. All the doors started slamming shut, people were yelling, and we didn't know what was going on, We didn't find out until the next morning that it was a fire drill...no fire, just a drill...AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING!!!! I was able to be discharged that evening. Thank goodness!
Dan had surgery on his knee. He completely tore the ACL and the MCL was torn, but not enough to warrant rebuilding it. He was back to work in 3 days and off crutches. He is doing really well right now. Physical therapy is pleased with the progress he is making.
Dans dad passed away 2 weeks ago today. He had been in OSU for 8 days and we were told that we could shut the ventillator off or have a trach put in and then he live in a nursing home. The boys decided to turn the vent off. After that, it has been completely crazy. A couple of brothers are just all about the stuff they can get, the will hasn't been found, there is a life insurance policy that no one knows who is the beneficiary. Just crazy. They need to get a lawyer and won't. Dan's mom is also butting in where she doesn't belong. I always liked her until now. She has butted in and just been a pain. Right now, I don't even want to talk to her or see her. So angry with what is going on right now.
Health wise, I have had a terrible headache for a week now. The neuro NP thinks it is a cluster migraine. She changed my meds and added some to see if it would help...it didn't, So have to call her tomorrow and see what she says, I don't care what we have to do to get rid of them, lets just do it, I was also informed today that my c peptides were high. That means that my body is not using insulin properly and that isulin is being stored in my body instead of being used. He is going to fax my PCP a recommended dose of glucophage and metanz and maybe something else. I will have to wait and see. But that does explain why I haven't been able to lose any weight. We found out a couple of years agp that when I took the glucophage and metanx, I lost a lot of weight, I am looking forward to doing that.
It is 3:15am, I need to go to sleep. I hope that I can.
( finally went to sleep about 2:30am, Then, at 3:30am the fire alarm went off. All the doors started slamming shut, people were yelling, and we didn't know what was going on, We didn't find out until the next morning that it was a fire drill...no fire, just a drill...AT 3:30 IN THE MORNING!!!! I was able to be discharged that evening. Thank goodness!
Dan had surgery on his knee. He completely tore the ACL and the MCL was torn, but not enough to warrant rebuilding it. He was back to work in 3 days and off crutches. He is doing really well right now. Physical therapy is pleased with the progress he is making.
Dans dad passed away 2 weeks ago today. He had been in OSU for 8 days and we were told that we could shut the ventillator off or have a trach put in and then he live in a nursing home. The boys decided to turn the vent off. After that, it has been completely crazy. A couple of brothers are just all about the stuff they can get, the will hasn't been found, there is a life insurance policy that no one knows who is the beneficiary. Just crazy. They need to get a lawyer and won't. Dan's mom is also butting in where she doesn't belong. I always liked her until now. She has butted in and just been a pain. Right now, I don't even want to talk to her or see her. So angry with what is going on right now.
Health wise, I have had a terrible headache for a week now. The neuro NP thinks it is a cluster migraine. She changed my meds and added some to see if it would help...it didn't, So have to call her tomorrow and see what she says, I don't care what we have to do to get rid of them, lets just do it, I was also informed today that my c peptides were high. That means that my body is not using insulin properly and that isulin is being stored in my body instead of being used. He is going to fax my PCP a recommended dose of glucophage and metanz and maybe something else. I will have to wait and see. But that does explain why I haven't been able to lose any weight. We found out a couple of years agp that when I took the glucophage and metanx, I lost a lot of weight, I am looking forward to doing that.
It is 3:15am, I need to go to sleep. I hope that I can.
Friday, February 12, 2010
End of my rope!
Friday Feb 12th~
Today I went to the neurologist. The shuntogram was normal, opening pressure of the spinal tap was high, optic nerves are red and swollen, and pain is uncontrollable. So, here is what he is thinking. #1-The shunt is working, and something else is going on. He wants me to have another spinal tap, and to see a dr at Ohio State University for a 2nd opinion consult. He is calling this dr personally. He wants to rule anything else out. The shunt is set on the lowest setting so we can't adjust it down anymore. Or-#2-the shunt is not working completely and fluid is building up because it is only pumping part time.
Here is how I feel about it. I have been in pain for almost 8 weeks. It is probably some of the worst pain I have been in since being dx'd in 2005. We usually guage how bad the h/a is by where it is on my face. With a high pressure h/a the pain usually starts in the back of my head and comes up and across the top and down my face. Usually when it gets to my upper lip, is when we know I need to go to the ER. Well, the pain has been down into my chin and all in my gums for about 4 weeks. I have been in the ER 2 times, and each time they gave me dilaudid, zofran, phenrgan, demerol, and toradol. And each time I left feeling like I did when I came in. I am so frustrated with everyone and everything right now. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!! I hate it that I feel like crap. I am tired of being strong and positive all the time. I am so tired of hurting. I am tired of having to pretend everything is ok. I am just tired. My body is tired and my mind is tired. I am not sleeping but just an hour or 2 at night.
Sat Feb 13~
Today was the same as the last 8 weeks...full of pain and nausea. I HAD to get groceries, so Dan and I went into town, Samuel went to my parents, Noah stayed home and got a few chores done.
Dan and I got groceries for the next month. He is off on Monday, so we are going to make 30 meals and put them in the freezer. I felt horrible, but I had to get this done. It did make me feel really good when I was able to buy everything we need for 4 weeks for right at $350. That is $82 a week. This included all food for the month, personal items, and paper goods. Not bad for a family of 4. Last month with what we saved on our grocery bill, I was able to pay off one of our bills. It wasn't very big, but it was one that we were making payments on. This month I'll have to see about paying off another bill. I really saw a huge difference with doing the 30 meals last month. There was less stress in the house, with me sick the boys were able to just pull something out of the freezer and we had a decent meal, not hot dogs or pizza. I did recipes that were laid out in a book for me last month. This month, I am using my own recipes. So, we'll see how it goes.
I found a really great deal this week. I make all of our bread now and I do it all by hand. I only have a handheld mixer, so any bread dough, pizza dough, cookie dough and all other things that get mixed, I do by hand. Sometimes, when I am feeling bad, I have to have Dan or one of the boys do it. Well, the other day I got my Kohl's ad in the mail. It had the pull off sticker on front to see what my savings would be. I got the 30% off. This is only like the 3rd or 4th time getting 30%. I was looking thru the ad and saw a kitchen aid mixer on sale. So I started checking into stand mixers and what kinds of prices were on them. I found a great deal. The artisan kitchen aid was on sale. It has a bigger bowl and motor. Regular price was $359.99, it was on sale for $299.99. I got 30% off of that, then I get a $30 rebate, $40 Kohl's cash back, no shipping charge and I ended up paying around $140 for the mixer. I saved $220 off the original price. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to get it and start using it. It is going to make my life so much easier. I wasn't going to get it, but Dan said that it isn't often that I'd find it on sale, with a rebate, with 30%off, and with Kohl's cash, so I should get it. I have wanted one for a long time, but have never had the money to get one and I always made due with what I had.
I am going to try and get some sleep. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night. Keep those prayers coming!
Today I went to the neurologist. The shuntogram was normal, opening pressure of the spinal tap was high, optic nerves are red and swollen, and pain is uncontrollable. So, here is what he is thinking. #1-The shunt is working, and something else is going on. He wants me to have another spinal tap, and to see a dr at Ohio State University for a 2nd opinion consult. He is calling this dr personally. He wants to rule anything else out. The shunt is set on the lowest setting so we can't adjust it down anymore. Or-#2-the shunt is not working completely and fluid is building up because it is only pumping part time.
Here is how I feel about it. I have been in pain for almost 8 weeks. It is probably some of the worst pain I have been in since being dx'd in 2005. We usually guage how bad the h/a is by where it is on my face. With a high pressure h/a the pain usually starts in the back of my head and comes up and across the top and down my face. Usually when it gets to my upper lip, is when we know I need to go to the ER. Well, the pain has been down into my chin and all in my gums for about 4 weeks. I have been in the ER 2 times, and each time they gave me dilaudid, zofran, phenrgan, demerol, and toradol. And each time I left feeling like I did when I came in. I am so frustrated with everyone and everything right now. I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!! I hate it that I feel like crap. I am tired of being strong and positive all the time. I am so tired of hurting. I am tired of having to pretend everything is ok. I am just tired. My body is tired and my mind is tired. I am not sleeping but just an hour or 2 at night.
Sat Feb 13~
Today was the same as the last 8 weeks...full of pain and nausea. I HAD to get groceries, so Dan and I went into town, Samuel went to my parents, Noah stayed home and got a few chores done.
Dan and I got groceries for the next month. He is off on Monday, so we are going to make 30 meals and put them in the freezer. I felt horrible, but I had to get this done. It did make me feel really good when I was able to buy everything we need for 4 weeks for right at $350. That is $82 a week. This included all food for the month, personal items, and paper goods. Not bad for a family of 4. Last month with what we saved on our grocery bill, I was able to pay off one of our bills. It wasn't very big, but it was one that we were making payments on. This month I'll have to see about paying off another bill. I really saw a huge difference with doing the 30 meals last month. There was less stress in the house, with me sick the boys were able to just pull something out of the freezer and we had a decent meal, not hot dogs or pizza. I did recipes that were laid out in a book for me last month. This month, I am using my own recipes. So, we'll see how it goes.
I found a really great deal this week. I make all of our bread now and I do it all by hand. I only have a handheld mixer, so any bread dough, pizza dough, cookie dough and all other things that get mixed, I do by hand. Sometimes, when I am feeling bad, I have to have Dan or one of the boys do it. Well, the other day I got my Kohl's ad in the mail. It had the pull off sticker on front to see what my savings would be. I got the 30% off. This is only like the 3rd or 4th time getting 30%. I was looking thru the ad and saw a kitchen aid mixer on sale. So I started checking into stand mixers and what kinds of prices were on them. I found a great deal. The artisan kitchen aid was on sale. It has a bigger bowl and motor. Regular price was $359.99, it was on sale for $299.99. I got 30% off of that, then I get a $30 rebate, $40 Kohl's cash back, no shipping charge and I ended up paying around $140 for the mixer. I saved $220 off the original price. I am so excited!!! I can't wait to get it and start using it. It is going to make my life so much easier. I wasn't going to get it, but Dan said that it isn't often that I'd find it on sale, with a rebate, with 30%off, and with Kohl's cash, so I should get it. I have wanted one for a long time, but have never had the money to get one and I always made due with what I had.
I am going to try and get some sleep. I have a feeling this is going to be a very long night. Keep those prayers coming!
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